Drunkey-the drunk ass

Drunkey, was an ass like no other. He could out drink anyone. In fact he was Animal U’s champion beer pong, boat races, and flip cup player. Yet to all who knew him he was a total ass. When little old ladies needed help opening the door or walking down icy stairs, Drunkey would slam the door in their faces or purposely push them down the stairs. At football games when parents brought their kids, Drunkey would purposely drink Tequila until he was near black out level, sit behind the kids and he would braw and heckle the refs. He would swear enough to make a sailor blush.

When he went to class he would sleep in the front row, talk loudly on his cell phone, or yell and laugh at everything the professor would say. At the bars he would push through the lines threatening to fight anyone including the bouncer who stood in his way. And at 6’ 5” at 320 pounds of muscle no one even whimpered. He treated women like they were objects, cheating on his many girlfriends just because he could.

He refused to work, only using his student loans for beer money. He’d spent the last 6 ½ years in college, failing out twice, and he still had three semesters worth of school to finish before he graduated. He was avoiding the real world like a bad bag of oats.

The truth was he was a sad donkey on the inside. He felt that he had failed at life and would never be accepted by anyone. So to mask his feelings of remorse he took drinking to a whole other level. Whether it was Monday or Sunday, 9am or 10 pm, Drunky found someone to share his love and pain with. It could be a bottle of Jack or a 30 pack of Busch Light, whatever made him happy.